Miss, do you have a husband?’: An exploration of the LGBTQ+ teacher experience

ANNE-MARIE WHALEY, ASSISTANT HEADTEACHER, MALMESBURY SCHOOL, UK

Introduction

‘That’s a personal question,’ I say, as I mentally sift through my scripted responses in case of a follow-up, and risk-assess the situation. In 2017, the NAHT told us to ‘come out to students if we want to’ and called for the support of school leaders. However, coming out never happens just once and having to explain one’s identity can become wearing. With the legacy of section 28 weighing heavy on our shoulders, the prospect of ‘being different’ can evoke a fear of tokenism and prejudice in some and unfounded scrutiny in many. ‘Is it worth it?’ I then ask myself, as I weigh up the invitation to be a role model for young people and a pioneer in my profession against my deep-rooted fear of rejection or interrogation. The answer is always ‘I’m not ready, but one day.’

Research findings

It is unclear as to how widespread this feeling is, with so little quantitative data, but there is enough to suggest that it isn’t yet time to celebrate. Lee (2019) writes that LGBT+ teachers are less likely to see their personal and professional lives as compatible, especially those who were teaching prior to 2003, who are, in many cases, deeply affected by their experiences of section 28. Her book, aptly entitled Courage in the Classroom (2020), describes meetings with parents and students perpetuated with uncertainty and anxiety, and she goes on to write about colleagues who have avoided promotion for fear that it will provoke more interest in their personal lives as they climb the ladder in schools. And yet, when you do put a school leader like me under the microscope, you won’t find any exciting media-worthy drama, but a woman who drops her child off at school, takes the bins out and happens to be married to another woman. 

Although 45 per cent of LGBT+ students still report bullying at school (Bradlow et al., 2017), there has been a marked reduction in recent years as schools navigate this juncture of shifting narrative. Many schools are described as ‘homotolerant’, which is sadly limiting (Llewellyn, 2022); schools often encourage diversityThe recognition of individual differences in terms of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, physical ability, religious beliefs and other differences and yet promote a heteronormative framework from which to teach. These heteronormative discursive practices can often lead to staff feeling isolated (Gray, 2013) and consequently they then turn to devising identity management strategies as a form of self-protection.

Role models as only part of the solution

The first thing that I remember about my secondary PE teacher in the ’90s is that she was gay. She could have been the role model that I so desperately needed, and yet I’m sure that she feared having to wear the label ‘different’ and observe the curiosity of an immature student audience. Neary (2013) found that LGBT+ colleagues don’t want to be closeted but often find the pressure to ‘come out’ and then be an ambassador overwhelming and even divisive. Teachers simply want to share the mundane details of their lives with students, to establish positive relationships – a heterosexual privilege. Inclusivity and equality rely on not having the additional social responsibility because of your sexual orientation.

Always moving forwards

The feeling of emotional safety plays an integral part in our ability to function as a human. We know that LGBT+ colleagues want to be ‘out’ in the classroom and lean into their authentic personas. However, this safety does not derive from advocating as a pioneer or ambassador, or even being the face of a school, but from an inclusive culture that normalises same-sex families. This realisation will continue to require a huge investment from headteachers and their teams. Below is some guidance from the NEU (2022) based on what works in schools where LGBT+ staff feel particularly comfortable, and serves as a practical checklist moving forwards:

• Challenge heteronormativity, as well as homophobia, and publicly recognise that silence around LGBT+ people is contrary to the values of an inclusive education
• Review the curriculum to ensure that the representations of LGBT+ individuals are not tokenistic and that lessons usualise the everyday existence of LGBT+ people
• Review dress codes to ensure that these do not reinforce gender stereotypes
• Consider how language is used across the school and the extent to which it is gender-neutral
• Reinforce the idea that there is no need to ‘come out’, as all types of relationships are represented in the narrative
• Encourage staff to act in partnership with LGBT+ communities and consider a trust or school network to encourage a sense of belonging and community
• Conduct an attitude survey to monitor the effectiveness of relevant policies
• Include LGBT+ training as part of the CPD (continuing professional development) programme
• Ensure that the library offer is LGBT+ inclusive 
• Continue to celebrate diversity with Pride and LGBT+ History Month – include everyone.

Conclusions

The goal for all schools is to foster a culture where sharing’s one identity as an LGBT+ teacher is as unremarkable as having worked in London or owning a dog. We are actively working to break the cycle and are healing from the lasting effects of section 28. With time and support from school leaders, I am confident that the moment will arrive when the response to that once-awkward question will simply be ‘a wife, actually’. Then, I will smile and move on with my lesson.